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#334224 - 11/18/08 06:06 AM my handsome boyfriend is ticklish.....
Saya Offline


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 627
Loc: I'm still on earth....
i love lots of foreplay but my bf pushes me off saying he is very ticklish and giggles when i touch his chest, back or any place on his body. he doesnt cuddle, hug, or hold me in his arms for more than a few seconds . we have been together for a decade, he has been the same all along.
he is shy around girls. i am the only exception. he is 25 still a virgin and doesnt wanna do it till i marry him (religious beliefs hold him back thats what he says...go by the rules...blah blah).

can some guys be that ticklish and shy?
can anyone tell me why he avoids foreplay 80% of the time but likes getting an oral?
another problem......he asks me to put 2 condoms on his penis before i give an oral.....any idea why he needs 2 condoms at once?
will he change after marriage?

i love him very much and i know he does too...i went abroad for 2 years with no contact with him and on returning found him standing at my door with a silly face and a big smile.
i want to understand him or whatever it is with him. Any help anyone?

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#334228 - 11/18/08 07:34 AM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
Ineligible Offline

longstanding member

Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 15818
Welcome to A2A, Saya. Your questions are all interesting ones and I hope some people will come up with suggestions. For this issue, though, there is one person who knows better than anyone else, and that is your boyfriend. I think you should be able to talk with him about these questions.

The two condoms (which by the way isn't recommended for contraception, as they rub against each other and are more likely to break) may be to reduce the feeling because he is afraid of ejaculating too soon. Perhaps he suffers from premature ejaculation? (That might also be the reason why he doesn't hug for long and avoids foreplay, though it may also be shyness or inexperience.) That could be embarrassing for him, and I understand he is very shy, but it would be good if you can talk about it.

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#334239 - 11/18/08 02:57 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
sadbuttrue Offline
larger utensil
longstanding member

Registered: 08/02/01
Posts: 1129
Loc: UK
If it helps, I am also really ticklish on some parts of my body, especially down my sides. Sometimes if I'm being tickled it is too much to take! It's also kinda arousing though. I don't have to even be tickled for it to be that intense. A simple light stroke of the finger will be enough. It's important to remember that if he is touching his own skin, his mind is prepared for what is going to happen, but when you do it, there is some uncertainty and so is more difficult to predict.

I can't quite explain the cuddling only being a few seconds though. The only thing that springs to mind also ties in with what you said about him wearing 2 condoms.
Maybe he gets sexually excited VERY easily and is worried that too much closeness will set him off, and he has some deep-set guilt about it.

With that sort of situation, I'm not really sure what you can do, other than exposing him to these situations so that he gets used to them. As with anything in life, repeated exposure to things helps reduce fear and impact.
Suggest that he only wears 1, or no condom when you are pleasuring him. You need to make him comfortable with himself, so don't react badly if he does orgasm too quickly, but don't tell him beforehand that he shouldn't worry - because that will make him worry!

The human psyche is complicated!
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Proud father

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#334271 - 11/19/08 04:09 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Ineligible]
Saya Offline


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 627
Loc: I'm still on earth....
i have tried talking and he says...i will try to hug u next time or i dont have time to talk --leaves immediately--makes me feel like i drove him away with bringing it up and he doesnt meet me for weeks \:\(

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#334272 - 11/19/08 04:29 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
OldFolks Offline
Tall and sexy member

Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 4771
Loc: Just Beyond the Reach of Light
It may be something as simple as him being terrified by the thought of sex because he thinks, being a man, he should know everything and be suave and all that crap. He may be thinking "I'm not those things and she's gonna see just how crappy I am, so I'm just going to avoid sex for as long as I can." Or it may be "I'm gay and can't be that because of my religion." Or it may be that "I really, really want the pussy but because of my religion I better not even get close to it."

Whatever they're his issues not yours he has to work them out for himself all you can do is offer support and help when possible. If he's not willing to do the work then you may have to rethink your situation with him.

Rather than confront him head on about this and sitting down to "talk about it" be a little more aloof about it. I'm not quite sure how to tell you to do that but talk to him about sex in general and get him talking about it without talking about himself. Maybe he might be more willing to open up. Nobody likes to be put on the hot seat about anything especially guys about sex. If you can find away to discuss it indirectly, that is probably gonna be your best shot.
_________________________
There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.

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#334274 - 11/19/08 05:02 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: sadbuttrue]
Saya Offline


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 627
Loc: I'm still on earth....
we have known eachother since we were kids....i know what his guilt is about, it concerns both of us not him alone....truth is the chemistry between us is very strong both get very excited
after years of being friends, when i first gave him an oral, without suggesting or telling him anything, few hours later one of my friends found him crying....on asking he said "i was scared like hell" after a week he pushed me to kneel before him and said "please do it for me now" \:\) ....so i think your advice will work well.
i understood way back that if i react negatively towards him when he ejaculates early or performs badly, it will hurt his ego/confidence so i have never reacted badly towards him, i always am positive towards him, encouraging him through years but he gets angry on his own and pushes me off, ruining the few nice moments we have had.
will it help to not use condoms at all and let him get used to the sensations during an oral?

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#334276 - 11/19/08 05:35 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
OldFolks Offline
Tall and sexy member

Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 4771
Loc: Just Beyond the Reach of Light
If you know him and trust him, and it sounds like you do, and know he he's free of STDs and all your doing is sucking cock and the cock isn't getting anywhere near the honey hole then by all means get rid of the condom.

While I don't see that helping things it certainly won't hurt anything.

Just a point of curiosity, does he express any interest in going down on you or getting after your goody?
_________________________
There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.

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#334278 - 11/19/08 06:09 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: OldFolks]
Saya Offline


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 627
Loc: I'm still on earth....
u are right about the two things...
1) religion--its forbidden to have sex before marriage in our religion,
i dont think he is gay cos his physical reactions towards me indicate he is not, he often reports how many big busted women he saw that day and estimates their boobs weight, wonders how they have large ones and others have smaller ones \:D ...i dont think a gay person would do that.

2) less knowledge about sex etc etc--he gets shocked when i answer his questions about things he wants to know

if i couldnt help or support him with his issues then i dont think anyone else can. it takes time for someone shy to build up enough trust and confidence to talk to someone about things like these. i do have his trust, can talk to him directly or indirectly as long as he is in mood to listen/talk....or he will shrug n stomp off stubbornly.

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#334281 - 11/19/08 06:58 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: OldFolks]
Saya Offline


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 627
Loc: I'm still on earth....
well he does want to go down on me but always controls himself. if there were no religious rules or peer pressure i dont think he would control himself and he has made that completely clear with me, i have seen his frustration and tried my best to ease it with giving him oral and hand jobs.
he sometimes asks if i would take a pill if anything happens (i dont know why he asks me though he never does anything that would make me take the pill).

we are both clear of STDs as we dont indulge with anyone else but eachother and follow good hygiene. losing the condom isnt a problem for us.

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#334287 - 11/20/08 12:42 AM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
Ej4 Offline
member

Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 135
Loc: MA
Lose the condom, and have him give you oral, its not breaking any rules or anything that havn't already been broken by you giving him oral.

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#334298 - 11/20/08 12:47 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
damien Offline
longstanding member

Registered: 01/23/05
Posts: 4263
Loc: Mayberry
I'm confused...It's against your religion for him to go down on you, but not for you to perform oral sex on him?

One thing I would add, he gets to make the decision on what he does or doesn't do. If he doesn't want to have sex, for whatever reason, that is his right and should be respected. The same for you.
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Screw the whales, save the subjunctive!

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#334303 - 11/20/08 05:01 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: damien]
Saya Offline


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 627
Loc: I'm still on earth....
i m not religious by the way, i break a lot of rules....giving an oral to a guy/girl is not accepted by many people of my religion...its limited between husband and wife only, anal sex is a complete no-no, but i wouldnt mind doing it if he wanted it....there is nothing to be confused, i dont go by rules and i like pleasuring him.
if we were married i dont think he would deny me any pleasure and he would definitely go down on me.
"marry me" is what he often tells me.....but we cant marry for 2-3 more years, his parents wont allow.

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#334304 - 11/20/08 05:14 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
OldFolks Offline
Tall and sexy member

Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 4771
Loc: Just Beyond the Reach of Light
Not to be overly pessimistic but have you thought how a life together would work if your a "rule breaker" and he's devout.
_________________________
There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.

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#334309 - 11/20/08 08:39 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: OldFolks]
Saya Offline


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 627
Loc: I'm still on earth....
we have known eachother for 14 years(we both are of same age), i have told him a million times to think about it but he says its fine. i am sort of worried about whether it would work out well or not \:\( but i have never broken any rules he laid for me and vice versa.
i cant explain it all but its really very very serious between us.

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#336534 - 01/11/09 09:26 PM Re: my handsome boyfriend is ticklish..... [Re: Saya]
johnny1039 Offline


Registered: 01/10/09
Posts: 10
Loc: WI USA
I would agree with OldFolks, us guys always feel we have to have everything figured out and when it comes to sex we need to be experts, kind of hard when we have never done it and we just might blow our load before we get close to the target be it mouth or vagina. Keep talking to him, and offering oral WITHOUT the condoms, if he does shoot his whole load on your face tell him it's ok and that you still love him, then proceed to give him oral, as he most likely won't shoot a second time until he's inside your mouth. I can't imagine how I would have done that first night if I didn't have intercourse 9 years before that night...... I still regret not being a virgin for my virgin....

John

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